2005-07-14 - 9:55 p.m.
Things I had forgotten to tell you about when I last updated 2 minutes ago:
1. I failed Laundromat.
"'Splain yourself, Lucy." Ok, I have never been to a laundromat before. I have done laundry, many times in fact. But always at home. But here, there are no laundry facilities, and my usual stand-by's- my step-mother's house (problem with the dry well causing over-flow) and house-sitting (either me or a friend doing the sitting- I don't care, I'll take my laundry anywhere) were not options. So I went to Laundry Land.
Where I was lectured for 20 minutes on the proper use of the machines, the proper machines for my use, etc. But really, it was not my fault. I did not overload, as I was told I did. The washer would not spin even when I took half the stuff out. It was the machine. But even though I knew this, even though I tried to explain this, I still had to sit through the lecture.
In the most gross laundromat on the face of the earth. Of that I am relatively sure. Well, at least in my town. It was mind-numbing. Sitting there waiting. Listening to cars blaring Mariachi bands, watching little children run around, avoiding the towels on the ground sopping up water leaking from the machines.
The maintenance guy, yes the same one who lectured me, told me that next time I should bring my stuff in to the full-service area and let them do it for me. Right on.
2. Another couple of Judy stories.
I had woken at about 6 am, packed my suitcases, emptied my hotel room, headed over to work for a full day, returned my rental car, been taken to the airport, sat in the smoking lounge for over 2 hours, boarded the plane which was late to arrive, flew home, got home around 10 pm (11 in Utah), went to sleep, woke up, made coffee, reclaimed my cat, left the house sans clean clothes, a shower, or even brushing my teeth, took a walk with a friend and her 3 dogs, and then met Judy for lunch. At which time she says, "Ooooh, your fingernails are dirty." "Yes, they are" was my reply instead of the "You weigh 300#" as I am sure I will be driven to say one day.
Later, she goes on to tell me that her boyfriend had started to propose to her. (Oh, by the way, this is top secret information which I have promised not to tell anyone, have told everyone, and will surely go to hell for.) She stopped him and said that they could not even consider marriage given the fact that they have been living together for 9 months and have not had sex since before she moved in. (Yes, this is true. She sent him to a doctor to see if it was physical, which it was not. He refuses Viagra and any of the other meds for such problems, not that they would definitely work anyway.) Anyway, after a long talk, it turns out that he is not attracted to her. So why propose to her? Good question. He says that he learned that all American women force the one year ultimatum, so he was doing what he felt he should do. Zanna's boyfriend thinks it's because he wants Judy's father to help him in business.
End result: he is to work on bringing more intimacy into their relationship, and she is to work on "toning up". (****Much Much more on this later****)
Exactly one week later Judy walks into our book group meeting waving a new "engagement ring" in our faces. She has not really spoken to me since that night. Theories on this vary widely: Violet thinks that Judy thinks I might try to talk her out of this engagement, which I would not do. I don't want to get into the middle of anything. Barbara Jo thinks that Judy is embarrassed to talk to me about it, since only one week previous she had told me that she was not going to marry the guy until the sex problems were worked out. I think that is the most likely reason.
Ok, back to the toning up. I am 5'6 and weigh 180#. I am most comfortable in the 160 range, and know that I have to lose 15 pounds and then start to tone up. Judy is about my height and weighs 300# (she says 250, but whatever). It seems to me that we have more than a toning up situation on our hands. It seems to me that we have a "I have to lose nearly 150 pounds before I can even think of using the words tone up" situation going on. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't give a shit how much someone weighs. Fat, skinny, who cares. But I do think that we have to be at least a little bit realistic. I certainly see myself in my mind's eye as thinner than I am. That is probably healthy. But, I am also realistic. And here is what I am sure of: If my belly hung down so low that it looked as if I were wearing a stomach mini-skirt, I would not think for a moment that toning up was what was needed. Can I please tell you that Judy has actually stopped using the elliptical machine because she was gaining muscle on some part of her leg that she did not want to gain muscle? And she keeps asking what exercises will tone the underarm area. Just lose weight any way you fucking can! Work out everything and tone your muscles when we can actually see them!
Yeah, I'm a bitch. But here is why. Saturday we were at a wine tasting. When we were done, she asked if anyone wanted to go for a pedicure. She looked at my feet and said, "The color of your polish is pretty. And look! The callouses on your toes are gone!" (They weren't- she just wasn't standing at an angle at which to see them.) So, I am petty, but I am tired of being put down in some way by her nearly every time I see her. If it's not the dirt under my nails, it's the callouses on my feet or the dark circles under my eyes, or I am not wearing enough make-up for her liking. I have never said anything to her about the way she looks, and I never would. I just get to say it to you. Because you are my best and most silent friend.
3. My mother is making me crazy. She calls a dozen times a day, sometimes for work purposes, but if I don't answer the phone, she leaves the same message, "Ok, call me". If I hear that one more time I might have to cut my ears off. And she keeps telling me that I have told her work things that I have not told her because they are not true, so I finally told her that she has to take better notes (instead of trusting her brain to remember facts).
Wow! What a downward spiral! Once I start bitching about one thing, it kind of spills over and I start bitching about everything. That is bad. Now I have to tell you 2 good things (not 3, as the laundromat story was more funny, not bitchy).
1. I have decided to start with a more neutral story. My cat lost a fang. She had 3 fangs when I got her, having lost one top one. Violet called her a snaggle-tooth. A few months ago I noticed that the fang under the lost fang was now catching up her lip, so she was in this perpetual scowl. And I felt bad for her as she had a little red mark from the fang biting into her lip. When I returned from Salt Lake City, this fang was now situated so that it was always outside her top lip. A week later, that fang was wobbling all over the place. But she did not seem to mind as she was eating fine and not complaining. Next thing I know, the fang is gone. And I have never found it. It might be behind the couch or outside somewhere. I'll probably come across it one day.
2. I was waiting for friends to show for a wine tasting last weekend, so I was perusing the phone book on my cell phone and deleting phone numbers of men I dated once or twice (remember Gay Stuart?), and I come across an out of state phone number for Laura. 10 minutes later, I still have not figured out who Laura is, but have decided not to delete until I investigate more. Barbara Jo thinks it is someone else I dated, but I think I would have remembered dating a girl. Or a guy named Laura.
Anyway, beautiful day, good food, good wine, live music, across the street from the ocean, nice people. And this very familiar girl walks by us. Barbara Jo calls, "Hey, we know her! How do we know you?" And it is Laura. Whose phone number I entered into my cell one year and one week previous to the day, at our town's annual Solstice party, where I was very drunk and do not remember having entered it.
So, Laura and I have rekindled our acquaintanceship, and have now actually made it a friendship. Actually, I had felt a bit uncomfortable being friends with her and her boyfriend. They were tenants of Clarck, and he had this thing about not being too friendly with the tenants, and though I did not have any stake in the building, I felt that he might have been a bit uncomfortable with my friendship with them. Especially since they would come to visit me up at Clarck's while I was tending to him after his accident.
Problem solved...turns out Clarck is a slum-lord. Laura and Chuck lived in the downstairs apartment and had been broken into 3 times. Clarck, who lived upstairs and had replaced his own windows, refused to replace the downstairs windows with ones that locked. So Chuck and Laura bought a house and moved.
Chuck and Laura and her brother Tom and I went to a concert in the park tonight. Fun dance music across the street from the beach. We brought food and drink and danced and talked and had a good time.
Oh! And I saw Kenny Loggins and Jim Messina last weekend for free at The Bowl. It was fun. Got a call saying "Get here now". They parked me in VIP parking right on the premises (there are only about 50 spaces, so everyone else needs to find street parking and walk), drove me up to the arena, and gave me a ticket and arm band to get onto the floor. I love this town.
